The Tale of a Girl and Her Food Processor

For as long as I can remember, technology and I have had a love hate relationship. Mostly hate. Just ask my college roommate, Valerie, who seemed to have the same issue. I swear, at least one of our laptops was holed up in the campus IT department at all times due to some stupid issue. And things haven't changed since. I consider the printer at work my mortal enemy. I still haven't figured out how to use the TV at my parent's lake house. No, technology and I do not get along.

Putting things together that end up eventually getting plugged in are just not my thing. Other things? Fine. I am a pro at assembling IKEA furniture, and am great at direction following in general. But technology? Forget about it. It is a curse.

Apparently, technology's delight in torturing me encompasses cooking technology as well. Last night, I had big plans on making a pasta dish that I have been wanting to make for awhile, but it required a food processor. Joe and I had received a food processor for our wedding, but I had yet to take it out of the box. I admit, I only registered for it because it was just one of those things you register for. Although the promises of cooking bliss that it advertises is attractive, the actual contraption scares me. I'm pretty sure I will either somehow break it, or it will cut my finger off. Why risk it right? All in the name of pasta.

Since Joe wasn't home, I knew I would have to put it together myself. Oh, so many pieces.

Ok. I can do this. I'm an educated woman. I passed 2 state bar exams, both on my first try. I should be able to do this! The Cuisinart will not defeat me! Plus, I mean, it comes with directions... which I finally decided to  look at once I realized I wasn't figuring out how to put it together on my own...

After carefully reading the directions, and putting everything together in what I thought was the proper place, I finally plugged it in, pushed the "on" button, and voila... nothing was happening... NOOOOOOOOOO!

I finally took to the miracle of the internet, and found this very helpful Cuisinart YouTube video, "So you bought a Prep 7 Food Processor" (ok, it's not really called that, but it should be). I sat there and listened to the lady tell me how to put everything together, up until the point that her food processor turned on. I wanted to cry out "But I did all of that!" but knew it would fall on deaf ears... because it is a computer screen...

I finally surrendered and just covered the pasta I had already cooked with some pre-made pasta sauce, waiting for Joe to come home so he can fix the machine for me. Really, I swear I'm a feminist...

UPDATE: I did finally get it to work (and I love it). Joe pointed out that I didn't have it totally snapped in. Awesome.